I’m Not Wrong, It’s My Opinion!

I can’t tell you how many times I have read or heard the phrase “It’s my opinion” after someone posts or says something that is wrong or bigoted. And they state it fully expecting people to say, “Oh, OK then, it’s just an opinion” and ignore facts, racism or logic. Or I have seen/heard “I’m not wrong about this I’m just giving my opinion!” Umm…No! No, that’s not how this works. It’s like somewhere between 2015 and now the definition of opinion got warped into this catch-all  “get outta jail” card to say whatever you want with no repercussions and end an argument or debate. It doesn’t work that way.

An opinion, by definition is:

opinion (noun)

  1. a belief, judgment, or way of thinking about something: what someone thinks about a particular thing
  2. advice from someone with special knowledge: advice from an expert
  3. a formal statement by a judge, court, etc., explaining the reasons a decision was made according to laws or rules

An opinion is not a fact. An opinion can be wrong. And while you are entitled to have an opinion and share it, it can still make you an asshole.

For example,

Trump is President. <– That’s a fact.

I say “It sucks that Trump is President.”  <— That’s an opinion.

Here is another example

Jimmy and Kyle are gay <— That’s a fact.

You say “Jimmy and Kyle shouldn’t be able to get married cause they are gay”  <—That’s an opinion. And for bonus points, if you think or say that it makes you an asshole.

Why does it make you an asshole you ask?

Well,  it makes you an asshole because it becomes a discriminatory opinion. You see, when you have unjust or prejudicial views of a group of people based on things they cannot change like age, race, sex, gender identity, sexual preference or religion that is wrong! And this makes you an asshole.

So, if your opinion is going to hurt someone, you’re an asshole. (and to some of you right now, I’m an asshole for telling you that you’re an asshole…it’s an asshole “come to Jesus” session!)

And saying “it’s my opinion” doesn’t mean you are not hurting someone.

See how that works?

Who a person is or what they do is a fact. You don’t have to like a fact, and that is your opinion, but it doesn’t change the truth of the fact.

Now, I know this can get a little muddy cause well some Christians believe that because of a couple of references in the bible that being gay goes against God, and so you think I’m being hypocritical and discriminating against you…but I am not. God himself said “Judge not, lest ye be judged” which means Christian people, it’s not our place to damn and judge and exclude Kyle and Jimmy, that’s for God to do on judgment day. Also, I am not telling you your belief is wrong, I am telling you that your interpretation of the bible is just that your interpretation of the bible and it is not your place to force that interpretation on anyone, because then it changes from your interpretation to judgment which…say it with me…makes you an asshole!

Random Thought: Who is the Buffy Starlet in the Joss Whedon Affair?

A few weeks ago, a guest blog penned by the wife of my ultimate favorite writer, producer, director Joss Whedon appeared everywhere online outlining his disgusting treatment of his wife, including multiple affairs and exposed him as a feminist fraud.

I had a hard time with it, for so many varying reasons; from curiosity to disgust, to disbelief. Not that I didn’t believe Kai, I did. My issue with it all was I couldn’t reconcile how the man who created, in my opinion, one of the strongest, strategic thinking, complex, female character’s who carried an entire “universe” for almost a decade could be “that guy”. And it wasn’t just the character of Buffy, but almost all of the female characters on that show were kick ass, strong women.

And I now had to separate the man from his art, which was/is hard because he made sure it was so entwined.

In my process of doing this I also let my nosy curiosity take over and the sleuth in me started to wonder…who was the “beautiful, needy, aggressive young” woman on the set of Buffy that he had an affair with? And then I proceed to give it far too much thought; so of course I have to share my speculations in order of probability*:

Note: I am going to rule out Kristine Sutherland and Robia Brett LaMorte as they are around Joss’ age

Dawn
Michelle Trachtenberg (Dawn):

That would not be an affair it would be child molestation.

Michelle was a young teen when she joined Buffy in Season 5 and she did a LOT of whining back then and screaming and she was just…ugh. But “ugh” in a way that little sisters are “ugh” so we loved her anyway and for that reason alone and the threat of jail time I think is a big no go zone!

Buffy
Sarah Michelle Gellar (Buffy):

Sarah had been around Hollywood/New York Entertainment scene since she was a young child, she knew what was up and she was not playing that. She was a sought after actress so she did not need to be validated by a first time TV showrunner.

Also, Joss may be a pig but he is obvi not stupid enough to risk getting his ass handed to him by a woman who knew Tae Kwon Do and could put a stake through the heart of his show by walking away if he crossed the line.

willow
Alyson Hannigan (Willow):

While beautiful, she is not aggressive and also too self aware and smart to be manipulated by Joss’ power. Now that I know who he is, she would intimidate him and she has far to many physical similarities to his wife. But the biggest reason Alyson can’t be the affair women is he wouldn’t risk her talking about it in one of her “Band Camp” stories.

Tara
Amber Benson (Tara):
Similar to Alyson, she doesn’t fit the description. Also, Amber is a known feminist and he wouldn’t risk outing himself. She may have played mild mannered Tara, but Amber is a beautiful force to be reckoned with.
Cordy
Charisma Carpenter (Cordelia):

She was originally my first suspect, only because she went from Buffy to Angel and I thought Joss may have “favoured” her.

But I ruled her out because she is/was very secure in her sexuality and didn’t strike me as “needy”. And while all of these women are forces Charisma packs an extra punch and would eat Joss alive and not break a nail.

Anya
Emma Caulfield (Anya):

She definitely fits the beautiful description, I can’t really see Joss attempting to manipulate her. And while she wasn’t as known prior to her role as Anya and within a good age range at the time, I find it highly unlikely due to other “evidence”. Also, after playing an ex-revenge demon for so long she probably picked up a few tricks that would scare him off.

Faith
Eliza Dushku (Faith):

I think we have a winner here folks and I will state my case.

She was young, beautiful and experiencing her sexuality for the first time away from home. There is also a story where Joss felt the need to do a “career intervention” with her because she was doing too many horror movies (SMG was doing the same at the time, but received no such attention) and thus Dollhouse became their project.

She was missing from the 20th Anniversary reunion that included Wesley who was a far less important character on Buffy. And according to Kai, Joss had already confessed to her at this point about the affair as they had been secretly separated for sometime. Could the decision not to include her have been to keep the peace?

I also noticed how over sexualized Eliza’s characters were in Buffy, Angel and Dollhouse – almost like he was leaving Easter eggs that he wanted us to find.  Like the creepy Mayor/Faith relationship storyline…ew.

Last point, Eliza has a thing for older men, gorgeous, delectable older men. So Joss fits part of that MO being…well …older.

Also if I look back to Eliza then (not now) I think she was a prime target for him. She was just legal and starting her career as an adult which an idiot would say that is needy, her outgoing personality could be misinterpreted by an insecure male as aggressive and there is no denying she is beautiful.

What do you think?

*Please note: This is just me sharing my crazy random thoughts on this. I understand these are real people involved with real feelings and my intention is not to hurt them. I did this to make light of what a lot of people are wondering when it comes to the affair revelation.

Who he actually had an affair with is none of my business, and honestly if it is or isn’t one of these women it doesn’t effect how much I love them or their work on the show. As far as anyone knows he could have had an affair with the caterer.

I also applaud these women for not making any public statements about this. I don’t see it as protecting him, I see it as protecting each other and the legacy of strong women they built together. This post was purely for entertainment purposes.

Starting School Is a Huge Milestone

My baby boy starts school this week and I’m completely freaking out! I have mom friends who will tell me to stop being overly dramatic, or “it’s no big deal”; but I’m not about that. I don’t care what anyone says, to me starting school is a huge deal.

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I have been dreading this moment and excited for it all at once since I first held my little man in my arms the day he was born. I’m excited because he is about to embark on the most life forming adventure of his life – the beginning of his educational career, one that I hope will lead him to NYU. (As you can see I have lofty goals for him)  But, I just hope he makes friends, that he doesn’t get bullied or become the bully, that he loves books, that he doesn’t have a hard time picking up French, that he enjoys math (unlike his mother), that he is creative, artistic, that he enjoys sports and ultimately finds his passion that will lead him to a happy life.

I feel that it all starts with school.
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