Diary of a Working Mom: Where did I go?

It’s funny the things you notice at times. Right now I am obsessed with other people’s nails. The pretty spring colours, the dark shellacs, the French manicures, the real and the “enhanced”. I can’t stop staring at them, and then down and my own horrible hands. Man, my hands have aged horribly in the last 2 years.

I used to have nice nails and soft hands that smelled of the latest Bath and Bodyworks scent. Before Henry, I had a standing appointment at my local nail salon and every Friday night I got a pedicure and every other Friday I got my nails shellacked and an eyebrow wax. I had great nails and great feet (great eyebrows too). Those days are long gone and one look at my bushy eyebrows and horrible hands/feet prove it.

The last time I had a manicure Henry was 3 months old (he is almost 2), and the last pedicure I had was before I went to Croatia last July. And my eyebrows get waxed if I am lucky once every 2 months.

What happened to me? Continue reading

Where is the Elmo Free Zone?

Henry ElmoBefore I had Henry, I was that crazy lady in the Walmart or whatever department store I was in that stood in front of the Elmo toy display poking, squishing or hugging all the Elmo’s I could and stood there laughing my butt off hysterically as passerby’s ushered their children away to safety. Yep…that was me. Now I would give anything to make Elmo stop!

From the time my son wakes up until he goes to bed at least once an hour I hear “Elmo?” I have watched Elmo the Musical Episodes 1 & 2 so many times that I know it inside and out (Heave Ho, Heave Ho!). I have Elmo calling him on my phone. He has Shapes and Colours Elmo and we can’t forget the little Elmo car. This kid can spot Elmo from miles away. It’s like it’s in his DNA.

Last week we were in Shopper’s Drug Mart walking down the card aisle…THE CARD AISLE PEOPLE…it has thousands of cards with thousands of pictures and this kid starts shouting “Elmo! Elmo!” because there was ONE CARD way at the top with a picture of Elmo on it. And he starts losing his mind over it. It was Like Elmo was the Beatles and he was a teen girl on the tarmac.

A few weeks ago we were in Chapter’s and again he spots an Elmo all the way across the room and he beelines it for it screaming “Elmo!” the whole way, just so he could touch it. I thought it was cute then, but today he took his obsession to a whole new level.

Elmo CallsThere is an iPhone app called Elmo Calls. It’s a cute little app that has videos and messages from Elmo for your little one, teaching your child the alphabet, holiday’s, bedtime routines and cute jokes. You schedule calls or you can just randomly call Elmo when you want.

So today I give Henry the phone and Elmo called and he answered with no problem. The video starts and then Henry hits “end” for some reason. And this happens over and over. After about 5 minutes of this Henry has a complete meltdown. I’m talking tears, snot, calling Elmo’s name like he’s Brando in A Streetcar Named Desire. He was a hot mess!

I wasn’t sure what to do. So I offered him a PBJ sandwich to which I got a resounding sniffling “yes!” as he jumped off the couch and ran for the kitchen.

Note to self: Food trumps Elmo.