Random Thought: Who is the Buffy Starlet in the Joss Whedon Affair?

A few weeks ago, a guest blog penned by the wife of my ultimate favorite writer, producer, director Joss Whedon appeared everywhere online outlining his disgusting treatment of his wife, including multiple affairs and exposed him as a feminist fraud.

I had a hard time with it, for so many varying reasons; from curiosity to disgust, to disbelief. Not that I didn’t believe Kai, I did. My issue with it all was I couldn’t reconcile how the man who created, in my opinion, one of the strongest, strategic thinking, complex, female character’s who carried an entire “universe” for almost a decade could be “that guy”. And it wasn’t just the character of Buffy, but almost all of the female characters on that show were kick ass, strong women.

And I now had to separate the man from his art, which was/is hard because he made sure it was so entwined.

In my process of doing this I also let my nosy curiosity take over and the sleuth in me started to wonder…who was the “beautiful, needy, aggressive young” woman on the set of Buffy that he had an affair with? And then I proceed to give it far too much thought; so of course I have to share my speculations in order of probability*:

Note: I am going to rule out Kristine Sutherland and Robia Brett LaMorte as they are around Joss’ age

Michelle Trachtenberg (Dawn):

That would not be an affair it would be child molestation.

Michelle was a young teen when she joined Buffy in Season 5 and she did a LOT of whining back then and screaming and she was just…ugh. But “ugh” in a way that little sisters are “ugh” so we loved her anyway and for that reason alone and the threat of jail time I think is a big no go zone!

Sarah Michelle Gellar (Buffy):

Sarah had been around Hollywood/New York Entertainment scene since she was a young child, she knew what was up and she was not playing that. She was a sought after actress so she did not need to be validated by a first time TV showrunner.

Also, Joss may be a pig but he is obvi not stupid enough to risk getting his ass handed to him by a woman who knew Tae Kwon Do and could put a stake through the heart of his show by walking away if he crossed the line.

Alyson Hannigan (Willow):

While beautiful, she is not aggressive and also too self aware and smart to be manipulated by Joss’ power. Now that I know who he is, she would intimidate him and she has far to many physical similarities to his wife. But the biggest reason Alyson can’t be the affair women is he wouldn’t risk her talking about it in one of her “Band Camp” stories.

Amber Benson (Tara):
Similar to Alyson, she doesn’t fit the description. Also, Amber is a known feminist and he wouldn’t risk outing himself. She may have played mild mannered Tara, but Amber is a beautiful force to be reckoned with.
Charisma Carpenter (Cordelia):

She was originally my first suspect, only because she went from Buffy to Angel and I thought Joss may have “favoured” her.

But I ruled her out because she is/was very secure in her sexuality and didn’t strike me as “needy”. And while all of these women are forces Charisma packs an extra punch and would eat Joss alive and not break a nail.

Emma Caulfield (Anya):

She definitely fits the beautiful description, I can’t really see Joss attempting to manipulate her. And while she wasn’t as known prior to her role as Anya and within a good age range at the time, I find it highly unlikely due to other “evidence”. Also, after playing an ex-revenge demon for so long she probably picked up a few tricks that would scare him off.

Eliza Dushku (Faith):

I think we have a winner here folks and I will state my case.

She was young, beautiful and experiencing her sexuality for the first time away from home. There is also a story where Joss felt the need to do a “career intervention” with her because she was doing too many horror movies (SMG was doing the same at the time, but received no such attention) and thus Dollhouse became their project.

She was missing from the 20th Anniversary reunion that included Wesley who was a far less important character on Buffy. And according to Kai, Joss had already confessed to her at this point about the affair as they had been secretly separated for sometime. Could the decision not to include her have been to keep the peace?

I also noticed how over sexualized Eliza’s characters were in Buffy, Angel and Dollhouse – almost like he was leaving Easter eggs that he wanted us to find.  Like the creepy Mayor/Faith relationship storyline…ew.

Last point, Eliza has a thing for older men, gorgeous, delectable older men. So Joss fits part of that MO being…well …older.

Also if I look back to Eliza then (not now) I think she was a prime target for him. She was just legal and starting her career as an adult which an idiot would say that is needy, her outgoing personality could be misinterpreted by an insecure male as aggressive and there is no denying she is beautiful.

What do you think?

*Please note: This is just me sharing my crazy random thoughts on this. I understand these are real people involved with real feelings and my intention is not to hurt them. I did this to make light of what a lot of people are wondering when it comes to the affair revelation.

Who he actually had an affair with is none of my business, and honestly if it is or isn’t one of these women it doesn’t effect how much I love them or their work on the show. As far as anyone knows he could have had an affair with the caterer.

I also applaud these women for not making any public statements about this. I don’t see it as protecting him, I see it as protecting each other and the legacy of strong women they built together. This post was purely for entertainment purposes.

13 thoughts on “Random Thought: Who is the Buffy Starlet in the Joss Whedon Affair?

  1. Jay says:

    Omg, Yes! When you said Eliza I was like YASSS. I know Im a little late to the party, but this has def been nibbling at my brain.
    Apparently when she was asked why she didn’t attend the anniversary event she said something like “because you have to be invited for something like that”…
    Super cheeky.
    Im on board. Once again, Faith is guilty.
    (Still a smokeshow, tho…)


  2. No none of these women fit the description. The women he most likely had sex with were pop up side characters that were in one or a few episodes and then were gone. Like the Julia Lee or Shonda Farr. And in the first or second season you probably wouldn’t find any affairs cause the show wasn’t as popular until season three and later.


  3. Steve says:

    So if you cheat on your wife you cant be a feminist? Out of all the shows and movies he has created, many with female leads, has anyone said anything negative about him?


    • It’s not the cheating that makes people question is sincerity as a feminist it’s the details attached to it.

      It’s how he presented himself as someone who lifts up women in public, but he was slowly tearing one down in private.


  4. Lauren says:

    I absolutely think you’re right on that one (plus, she had already been molested by someone on the set of True Lies and so more susceptible).

    But, I will mention that if you really go back and look at JW’s work, it’s not all that feminist. Seen in a modern light, Buffy, although strong, was constantly preoccupied with changing herself for some man or other. He uses sexual assault in creepy ways several times in Buffy.

    Then, Dollhouse, one of the characters is literally a woman who said no to a man, was kidnapped by said man (who is very rich), her mind was wiped and he then “orders” her every week so he can rape her over and over. And her “revenge” is something like punching him. And in the end, things go back to “normal” (i.e. he continues to get to rape her on a weekly basis). Oh, and the first episode, these people are so brilliant they can reprogram people like computers and yet they don’t know the guy who rents one of their women is a serial killer?

    I’m sorry if this is upsetting, but I realized he wasn’t a feminist a long time ago when I started rewatching the series. I made excuses for a long time (doubting my instincts based on the common refrain of JW as a feminist), but I finally couldn’t do it any more.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh. My. God.

      I’m so blind! You are 100% right. I just missed it. Maybe because I was starving for female leads and stories Centers around us without us needing to be rescued that I didn’t really notice.

      Great catch.

      Side note: I’m going to re-watch Dollhouse now.


  5. Atomic Noogie says:

    Honestly I think Whedon just does stories that interest him, it’s just he gets more hits than misses, I doubt he thinks deeply about making a feminist show, he just goes around making shows which he thinks is interesting and it just so happens his shows have strong female leads. But as stated, he loves to put some sort of abuse in the shows which is pretty evident in Buffy and Dollhouse. Buffy and Spike’s relationship is abusive in both sides. Even in Angel, the Cordelia/Connor thing… I get it’s a re-write due to Charisma getting pregnant but it didn’t have to go there…


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