Random Thought: Who is the Buffy Starlet in the Joss Whedon Affair?

A few weeks ago, a guest blog penned by the wife of my ultimate favorite writer, producer, director Joss Whedon appeared everywhere online outlining his disgusting treatment of his wife, including multiple affairs and exposed him as a feminist fraud.

I had a hard time with it, for so many varying reasons; from curiosity to disgust, to disbelief. Not that I didn’t believe Kai, I did. My issue with it all was I couldn’t reconcile how the man who created, in my opinion, one of the strongest, strategic thinking, complex, female character’s who carried an entire “universe” for almost a decade could be “that guy”. And it wasn’t just the character of Buffy, but almost all of the female characters on that show were kick ass, strong women.

And I now had to separate the man from his art, which was/is hard because he made sure it was so entwined.

In my process of doing this I also let my nosy curiosity take over and the sleuth in me started to wonder…who was the “beautiful, needy, aggressive young” woman on the set of Buffy that he had an affair with? And then I proceed to give it far too much thought; so of course I have to share my speculations in order of probability*:

Note: I am going to rule out Kristine Sutherland and Robia Brett LaMorte as they are around Joss’ age

Dawn
Michelle Trachtenberg (Dawn):

That would not be an affair it would be child molestation.

Michelle was a young teen when she joined Buffy in Season 5 and she did a LOT of whining back then and screaming and she was just…ugh. But “ugh” in a way that little sisters are “ugh” so we loved her anyway and for that reason alone and the threat of jail time I think is a big no go zone!

Buffy
Sarah Michelle Gellar (Buffy):

Sarah had been around Hollywood/New York Entertainment scene since she was a young child, she knew what was up and she was not playing that. She was a sought after actress so she did not need to be validated by a first time TV showrunner.

Also, Joss may be a pig but he is obvi not stupid enough to risk getting his ass handed to him by a woman who knew Tae Kwon Do and could put a stake through the heart of his show by walking away if he crossed the line.

willow
Alyson Hannigan (Willow):

While beautiful, she is not aggressive and also too self aware and smart to be manipulated by Joss’ power. Now that I know who he is, she would intimidate him and she has far to many physical similarities to his wife. But the biggest reason Alyson can’t be the affair women is he wouldn’t risk her talking about it in one of her “Band Camp” stories.

Tara
Amber Benson (Tara):
Similar to Alyson, she doesn’t fit the description. Also, Amber is a known feminist and he wouldn’t risk outing himself. She may have played mild mannered Tara, but Amber is a beautiful force to be reckoned with.
Cordy
Charisma Carpenter (Cordelia):

She was originally my first suspect, only because she went from Buffy to Angel and I thought Joss may have “favoured” her.

But I ruled her out because she is/was very secure in her sexuality and didn’t strike me as “needy”. And while all of these women are forces Charisma packs an extra punch and would eat Joss alive and not break a nail.

Anya
Emma Caulfield (Anya):

She definitely fits the beautiful description, I can’t really see Joss attempting to manipulate her. And while she wasn’t as known prior to her role as Anya and within a good age range at the time, I find it highly unlikely due to other “evidence”. Also, after playing an ex-revenge demon for so long she probably picked up a few tricks that would scare him off.

Faith
Eliza Dushku (Faith):

I think we have a winner here folks and I will state my case.

She was young, beautiful and experiencing her sexuality for the first time away from home. There is also a story where Joss felt the need to do a “career intervention” with her because she was doing too many horror movies (SMG was doing the same at the time, but received no such attention) and thus Dollhouse became their project.

She was missing from the 20th Anniversary reunion that included Wesley who was a far less important character on Buffy. And according to Kai, Joss had already confessed to her at this point about the affair as they had been secretly separated for sometime. Could the decision not to include her have been to keep the peace?

I also noticed how over sexualized Eliza’s characters were in Buffy, Angel and Dollhouse – almost like he was leaving Easter eggs that he wanted us to find.  Like the creepy Mayor/Faith relationship storyline…ew.

Last point, Eliza has a thing for older men, gorgeous, delectable older men. So Joss fits part of that MO being…well …older.

Also if I look back to Eliza then (not now) I think she was a prime target for him. She was just legal and starting her career as an adult which an idiot would say that is needy, her outgoing personality could be misinterpreted by an insecure male as aggressive and there is no denying she is beautiful.

What do you think?

*Please note: This is just me sharing my crazy random thoughts on this. I understand these are real people involved with real feelings and my intention is not to hurt them. I did this to make light of what a lot of people are wondering when it comes to the affair revelation.

Who he actually had an affair with is none of my business, and honestly if it is or isn’t one of these women it doesn’t effect how much I love them or their work on the show. As far as anyone knows he could have had an affair with the caterer.

I also applaud these women for not making any public statements about this. I don’t see it as protecting him, I see it as protecting each other and the legacy of strong women they built together. This post was purely for entertainment purposes.

41 thoughts on “Random Thought: Who is the Buffy Starlet in the Joss Whedon Affair?

  1. Jay says:

    Omg, Yes! When you said Eliza I was like YASSS. I know Im a little late to the party, but this has def been nibbling at my brain.
    Apparently when she was asked why she didn’t attend the anniversary event she said something like “because you have to be invited for something like that”…
    Super cheeky.
    Im on board. Once again, Faith is guilty.
    (Still a smokeshow, tho…)

    Like

  2. No none of these women fit the description. The women he most likely had sex with were pop up side characters that were in one or a few episodes and then were gone. Like the Julia Lee or Shonda Farr. And in the first or second season you probably wouldn’t find any affairs cause the show wasn’t as popular until season three and later.

    Like

  3. Steve says:

    So if you cheat on your wife you cant be a feminist? Out of all the shows and movies he has created, many with female leads, has anyone said anything negative about him?

    Like

    • It’s not the cheating that makes people question is sincerity as a feminist it’s the details attached to it.

      It’s how he presented himself as someone who lifts up women in public, but he was slowly tearing one down in private.

      Like

      • I don’t want to condone what he did — he cheated on his wife and that puts doubt on his feminism — but how does having an affair with a younger woman necessarily tear her down? The woman he had the affair with may be as guilty as he is. If it was consensual, then she was betraying Whedon’s wife, too.

        Like

      • Sorry, I misunderstood your comment.

        It’s an imbalance of power, but I do believe it was mutual. It does keep her at a disadvantage though.

        I was also just speculating and using humour.

        Like

  4. Lauren says:

    I absolutely think you’re right on that one (plus, she had already been molested by someone on the set of True Lies and so more susceptible).

    But, I will mention that if you really go back and look at JW’s work, it’s not all that feminist. Seen in a modern light, Buffy, although strong, was constantly preoccupied with changing herself for some man or other. He uses sexual assault in creepy ways several times in Buffy.

    Then, Dollhouse, one of the characters is literally a woman who said no to a man, was kidnapped by said man (who is very rich), her mind was wiped and he then “orders” her every week so he can rape her over and over. And her “revenge” is something like punching him. And in the end, things go back to “normal” (i.e. he continues to get to rape her on a weekly basis). Oh, and the first episode, these people are so brilliant they can reprogram people like computers and yet they don’t know the guy who rents one of their women is a serial killer?

    I’m sorry if this is upsetting, but I realized he wasn’t a feminist a long time ago when I started rewatching the series. I made excuses for a long time (doubting my instincts based on the common refrain of JW as a feminist), but I finally couldn’t do it any more.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh. My. God.

      I’m so blind! You are 100% right. I just missed it. Maybe because I was starving for female leads and stories Centers around us without us needing to be rescued that I didn’t really notice.

      Great catch.

      Side note: I’m going to re-watch Dollhouse now.

      Like

    • She had been molested when young so that made her more susceptible. Susceptible to what? More susceptible to having consensual affairs when she was an adult? I doubt it! What evidence is there that Wedon’s affair or affairs weren’t consensual? It is possible to have an affair with a woman without molesting or abusing her. No one has complained about him, so I figure they had no problem with the affair. Sure, sure, he was an arsehole to cheat on his wife, but that doesn’t mean he has abused or molested actresses.

      Like

    • Matt says:

      Whedon constantly grants named characters an elite status not found in minor characters of the same demographic, and I’m not just talking about survivability like in most tv and movies. Best example because it exists in the hypothetical – Spike, Harmony and Clem from BtVS completely undermine the blanket characterization of demons as evil. Whedon did eventually pick up on this and instead of continuing adding nuance to this fictional demographic – he tries and fails to undo this intelligent character-driven nuance (that is his calling card) with the horrible scene where Spike tries to rape Buffy – and then is sort of clueless as to what happened and has regret – leading him to do things that would result in getting his soul back. But why would he bother if he was actually evil? It damages the character of Spike and it further damages the suspension of disbelief that demons are evil. It’s just terrible backtracking to justify an ideological distinction between core characters and everyone else. Why? My only conclusion is that such characters are there for tokenism, not nuance.

      Like

  5. Atomic Noogie says:

    Honestly I think Whedon just does stories that interest him, it’s just he gets more hits than misses, I doubt he thinks deeply about making a feminist show, he just goes around making shows which he thinks is interesting and it just so happens his shows have strong female leads. But as stated, he loves to put some sort of abuse in the shows which is pretty evident in Buffy and Dollhouse. Buffy and Spike’s relationship is abusive in both sides. Even in Angel, the Cordelia/Connor thing… I get it’s a re-write due to Charisma getting pregnant but it didn’t have to go there…

    Like

  6. NeenerNeener says:

    Coming in late to say I’ve always wondered about Greenwalt and Carpenter. He never made any secret of his admiration for her on the dvd commentaries, and he lobbied to move her to Angel when Joss was planning on sending her to college with the rest of the Scoobies for Season 4 of Buffy. Also, about the same time she came back to Angel in Season 4 he left the show for good. The whole thing just never looked right.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. NeenerNeener says:

    Another thought. If you expand the “cast” to include anyone who appeared on multiple episodes then you expand Whedon’s dating pool to the actresses who played Druscilla, Darla, Harmony, Amy and Veruca. I would hope Landau and Benz would have known better, since Landau has family in the biz and I think Benz was married to another actor at the time, but I wouldn’t be surprised at any or all of the other three.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. NeenerNeener says:

    I’m now doing an Angel re-watch, and using the “appeared in multiple episodes” criteria we can include Elizabeth Rohm and Stephanie Romanov. Suddenly Rohm’s career will make all kinds of sense to a lot of former TWoP posters.

    Like

      • NeenerNeener says:

        Just one last note; you’re all definitely on to something with Dushku.
        If she partied as hard as she claims she did during her Buffy-Angel-Tru Calling days, then the odds that she got stupid with Whedon at least once are huge.

        Liked by 1 person

      • No “one last note” I’m loving all the dialogue! Keep it coming! It’s making me feel like I’m not the only one analyzing and re-analyzing everything! When I wrote this I was in the middle of my 100th round of re-watching Buffy and I started Angel again.

        Like

  9. NeenerNeener says:

    It’s interesting that most of what we know about this is what Whedon mansplained to his wife and she announced to the world. None of the actresses who worked with Whedon have really had anything bad to say about him. Why? Does he hand out Trump-style NDAs? Are they worried about being black-balled like Mira Sorvino? Is Whedon powerful enough that he could trash their careers if they #metoo-ed? Was it all (or mostly all) consensual and his partners don’t feel used? Until someone actually comes forward I guess we have to assume that Whedon is personable enough and the Mutant Enemy residual checks are big enough that no one on his casting couch has any complaints.

    Like

  10. If the thing was consensual, what the hell would Gelar’s martial arts skills have to do with it? Or a need to be validated. Sometimes men and women — yes even older men and younger women — have affairs and enjoy it. There is not always any exploitation. It is rather interesting that noone has complained. This is not to say he is justified on cheating on his wife, but the assumption he abused his power doesn’t necessarily follow. And was Dushku a regular on the series? She hadn’t done enough episodes to be invited.

    Like

    • When you have a man in a position of power over you in both age and position it can and has been said to fall under abuse, thus #MeToo. And if you were actually listening to women instead of telling us what constitutes consent then you wouldn’t be arguing this point with me.

      Like

    • I’m not the one singling them out. Joss and his ex-wife stated the show the affair was on…these were the actresses on that show and I’m giving my opinion on who it could be…which I’m entitled to do.

      They are public figures. It was a public story, I am part of the public and I’m speculating. If you have an issue with that you are free to write your own piece on my speculation.

      Like

  11. You may have seen different information than I have, but I have nothing that says he had an affair or affairs with actresses on Buffy or Angel. Here is the wifes statement as I’ve seen it:

    “The female stars of Buffy the Vampire Slayer aren’t commenting on the recent cheating accusations brought against Joss Whedon by his ex-wife, Kai Cole, in a recent scathing guest column. In the column, Cole wrote that Whedon revealed to her several affairs with “beautiful, needy, aggressive young women” during their 16-year marriage.” But the stories aren’t consistent. On a number of occasions she talks of years of abuse with his having had affairs with, “his actresses, co-workers, fans and friends.”

    The first of these affairs was supposed to have happened during the filming of Buffy, but there was no mention that it was with a Buffy actress.

    Now let’s just touch on another point you raise: “When you have a man in a position of power over you in both age and position it can and has been said to fall under abuse,”

    When there is a situation where one person (and it may be a female boss) is in a position of power over someone they are having an affair with that is a cause for concern and something to naturally be uneasy about. It is something to be wary about, but it may not necessarily always be abuse. It is only abuse if the discrepancy in power is used to abuse. I don’t think it automatically falls under abuse. Sure, it is a situation that is ripe for abuse, perhaps, but not one where abuse is automatic.

    I do believe that some of the speculation is wrong just because it is nothing but speculation and that the speculation about Dushku is absurd. Take this:

    “Just one last note; you’re all definitely on to something with Dushku.
    If she partied as hard as she claims she did during her Buffy-Angel-Tru Calling days, then the odds that she got stupid with Whedon at least once are huge.”

    So if a woman parties hard she must be immoral, eh? And the odds that she got “stupid’ with Whedon at least once are huge? Can’t you see how distasteful and sick that is? And if she got “stupid” once” what has that got to do with the supposed years of infidelity?

    The actresses themselves seem almost to dismiss the allegations.

    http://observer.com/2017/08/buffy-stars-silent-on-cheating-accusations-from-joss-whedons-ex-wife/

    And why are so many of his actresses and their husbands (Hannigan, Acker, etc) such great friends of his?

    Like

  12. Emily says:

    I think you’re right in regards to Eliza though I think some of your reasonig was flawed. Michelle Tratchenberg was significantly younger, so much so it rules her out. SMG was in the right age range, but in the early years of Buffy there were rumours about her and David Boreanaz (reportedly one of the reasons his first marriage broke down) and in later years there was Freddie Prince Jnr. Alyson Hannigan (and Alexis Denisof) are god parents to his and Kai’s children, which I don’t think would happen wih a woman you are having an affair with. He only hired Amber Benson reluctantly and she was in a relotionship with Adam Busch for years….Charisma is a definite possibility, but she was infamously fired when she got pregnant in season four of Angel. Also she’s five or so years older than the others and I am pretty sure she was married for a brief period. So if it happened I believe it was fairly early on. Meanwhile Eliza Dushku was younger than the others, but not so young it would have been illegal. Definitely troubled as we now know (horrible, disgusting people in the world). Isolated (emancipated herself to work on Buffy) and they had an on-going relationship that lasted years after Buffy but has cooled a lot in recent years, which coincides with her getting sober and moving back to Boston. From the instant the headline hit, it felt like Eliza.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Chrys says:

    My first thought was Mercedes McNabb and C. Carpenter. Maybe because the Playboy pics denotes a sort of career desperation that lends itself to poor decisions. Or maybe because they kept getting screen time in spite of being really poor actors….

    Like

  14. I find some of the comments quite disturbing to be honest! Eliza is “more susceptible because she was abused when she was a minor”?! That is *harsh* in my opinion, far harsher than it is intended – I know people mean no harm… but abuse victims have enough emotional fallout (“did I ask for it? do I attract it? am I damaged goods now?”) without people openly presuming it makes them weak. Very harmful… and not very feminist, either. I’m not trying to be harsh, I know you all mean well, I just think it’s important to be really careful with stuff like that. I also don’t believe that feminists are not allowed to have unhealthy relationships. Your beliefs on social, political and economic equality do not make you immune to being dysfunctional as an individual.

    Like

    • Alice in Wonderland says:

      Except being sexually abused as a child does lead to promiscuity most often in the late teens or early twenties and at times even later than that. It doesn’t make her a horrible person or someone who should be bashed for it, because abuse changes a person.

      As far as it not being abuse for a consensual affair that is true except in cases of one person having power to fire the other person. If a woman has an affair with a subordinate she is guilty of abusing her power in the same way as a man is guilty if it. Having a boss who pursues or fosters an inappropriate relationship is extremely unnerving to most people. Even if she decided to consent to it that doesn’t mean she was completely okay with the situation. I have a male friend who was pursued and coerced into a sexual encounter with his boss. She didn’t come out and say he would be fired if he refused, but it was implied. He needed the job to help with college expenses, so he endured her vile behavior until the first opportunity to get out of the situation.

      He could have had an affair with a writer, an actress, or any number of other jobs held by a woman on the show. Having a reunion without the actress who portrayed Faith seems odd to me, but it could have simply been a conflict with scheduling. The fact that someone is the God parents of a couple’s children does not mean there was no affair or bad behavior. If his wife didn’t know then certainly their friends and outsiders also did not know. One of my former best friends had an affair with my ex and I am still considered an aunt by her children. They aren’t responsible for their mother’s bad behavior or the behavior of my ex.

      I am leaving one comment in response to two different posters.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s