The World Sucks, So Let’s Laugh at My Expense

There is so much crap going on in the world right now with flooding in Houston, Windsor and India, politics and racism rearing its ugly head, that I thought we could all use a laugh (or a head shake, you’re choice) at my expense. Since this site is a place to share my random thoughts I thought I would give you all a little glimpse into my crazy mind with 5 crazy thoughts/things that I do. It’s my own special brand of crazy. 

So let’s start:

1. I have to sleep with clothes on.

This may seem normal and I’m sure many people have to sleep with clothes on; but I do it because I have very vivid dreams and if I fall asleep in the nude, I am naked in my dreams too. This freaks me out! One time, I decided to try sleeping in the nude cause I read somewhere that it can help with body temperature regulation. I had the craziest dreams and in all of them I was naked! And not cute naked either, I am talking out in all my glory, winter legs naked. In one of my dreams that night I was at work having a conversation with my boss in my birthday suit…it was not a good scene.

2. I suffered from PPD and began hoarding duct-tape.

After Henry was born I had slight PPD. During that time I also discovered The Walking Dead and the combination of the show and my PPD caused me to became obsessed with preparing for a possible Zombie Apocalypse and my main goal was protecting Henry.

I saw somewhere that zombies couldn’t bite through duct-tape so every time I went to the Dollarstore or Walmart I would buy a roll or two, maybe three and began hiding it around the house. There were rolls under my bed, in the closet, my car – I had stashes all over the place, just in case. It’s been 4 years and I am still finding random duct-tape rolls, like A few weeks ago I was going through one of my storage bins looking for clothes to donate and found 4 rolls tossed in there.

3. My “sauces” can’t touch…like at all!

I know they are going to mix in my stomach and maybe it would taste great if they mixed, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I would rather have 3 plates in from of me then have them mix.

And if  they touch I revert to a toddler and want to flip my plate and cry.

4. I put on full out concerts in my car on drives more than 20 minutes from home.*

There is playlist of my greatest hits and some new material I am working on. There is dancing, hand microphones the works! When the song calls for it I turn up my A/C or heat so I can get some windblown hair action and sometimes I even sing to my “fans”, also known as drivers I am passing cause what are the odds that I am ever going to see you again?

There are mini-performances on my daily commute, but I tone those down just in case someone sees me.

*These are only done alone or with Henry in the car.

5. I am terrified of becoming an organ donor.

This is the one I am most embarrassed of and know I need to work on because my logical mind knows how many people my organs can save when I no longer need them. It’s irrational. It’s stupid. But I still can’t check that box.

And my reason for being scared is stupid and selfish, based on zero fact, not even legend or proverb or any belief I know of but again I can’t seem to “kick” it.

So here it is: What if I do donate my organs and reincarnation is real and because I donated them I don’t have that organ or there is now something wrong with that organ in my new “life” cause I gave it away in my last life?

Seriously, this is how my brand of crazy works! Most people would think that organ would be stronger cause I was selfless by donating it, but not me. Nope. Just throw me in the corner with my dunce cap.

So that’s me, kinda. Everyone has a little crazy in them, what’s yours?

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